My journey to become a mum was a long one. My husband and I had been trying for a baby for over 3 years and eventually had to embark on the emotional and expensive journey of fertility treatment. After four attempts at Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) (resulting in one pregnancy, which miscarried early) we were advised to try IVF. We had high hopes of IVF working as we had fallen pregnant on our third IUI, and the fact that I got pregnant was a good sign. On the day of egg pick up 21 eggs were retrieved, only 18 were mature.
Ella was a very much wanted baby who was our little miracle after assisted conception medication was taken and then a high risk pregnancy. Almost as soon as she was born she was crying and screaming for long hours.
I think I can honestly say I’ve been ‘clucky’ since I was about 12. That’s not to say that I had an intention of being a teen mum or anything, just that in the same way some little girls have their dream wedding all planned out, I knew very early on how I wanted the nursery decorated, and how it would ‘be’ when I finally got to marry my prince and start my family.
I wanted to be a mum more than anything else in the world. So that was the plan… meet a boy, get married and have a baby (or two!). I actually thought I’d be really good at it, but over the last 21 months I have considered myself wrong countless times.
Sherryn was not an easy baby, but I thought it was me. She was my first baby and I can remember bawling because I felt like such a failure. Becoming a parent came as a huge shock and although I had desperately wanted children, I felt so inadequate and wondered why everyone else seemed to cope so much easier than I did.
Natalie was born in 1992, a desperately wanted baby. She was born in respiratory distress, which took a while to settle and she spent several days in the Special Care Nursery needing oxygen and being tube fed.
At home, she wanted to feed every 2 hours, which is a pattern her sister had had. She hated being laid down flat and would often cry if I tried. She did not sleep well either, and at 12 months was still waking a dozen times overnight, and rarely during the day.
I had a pretty normal pregnancy with Jude, ate everything I should stayed away from everything that was warned about. No drinking, smoking raw meat, eggs, cold meats, salad bars takeaway. The list goes on. I didn’t die my hair and I didn’t use chemicals to clean. Why am I telling you this? Just in case there is another reflux mum reading this, It is nothing you did. I did everything right and at 3 years old my son still suffers from silent reflux.
My name is Bianca and I have one child, Oliver; he is 1 year old. Oliver was diagnosed with silent reflux at 4 months of age by one of my closest friends, who happens to be our GP. Thank god for her. She witnessed one of Oliver’s screaming fits; these used to happen most days, sometimes a few times a day and go on for what felt like hours, but was probably 30 to 60 minutes of screaming and crying before my husband or I would be able to settle him and/or he would fall asleep from exhaustion.
We didn’t have a failure to thrive (FTT) baby, or a baby who needed to be hospitalised, however the first twelve months with our first child Rachael were the most difficult in my life. As everyone said parenting was hard, I just thought that it was normal to never be able to put your child down without them screaming, to scream inconsolably for hours and hours and to only sleep upright.